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BIG writer's block.
2 min read
Do you know about that blog I told you about in the last post?
Well, I have no idea what to do with it. I've got two (one?) paragraphs in Chapter one, and from there, nothing:
Please, can anyone help me? Maybe an idea of what should happen, or something? Anything would be helpful right now.
Please and thank you!
EDIT:
Also, I would like to put this idea out there. The initial inspiration for GureOni was what I call, HetaOni: Who? In other words, Canada is the one to survive instead of Italy, because, y'know, the monster can't always see him. With that idea, I've been using original characters and all that. If you think it's a good idea, I could talk about it.
Well, I have no idea what to do with it. I've got two (one?) paragraphs in Chapter one, and from there, nothing:
That's definitely just one paragraph, isn't it...As the boys went to the wreck of a car their friends and classmates were in, Joanne and Erina went inside the building. The foyer was incredibly nice, with the lounge to the left and a gym almost immediately next to it.
"This is actually clean," Joanne commented. "Who would have known?" She turned to Erina, cursing herself inwardly when she saw the tears returning to her friend's eyes. "Hey, let's sit down," Joanne demanded. "There's a table there, see? And those chairs look nice."
Please, can anyone help me? Maybe an idea of what should happen, or something? Anything would be helpful right now.
Please and thank you!
EDIT:
Also, I would like to put this idea out there. The initial inspiration for GureOni was what I call, HetaOni: Who? In other words, Canada is the one to survive instead of Italy, because, y'know, the monster can't always see him. With that idea, I've been using original characters and all that. If you think it's a good idea, I could talk about it.
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I've been doing a lot recently...
1 min read
Not that it's bad! In fact, it's good! I've got a youtube account that I've been posting Let's Plays on, and I have a livejournal I made specifically for one story. It has only the Intro and a few posts, but I intend to have many chapters, and the chapters to be long.
Hope you enjoy!
Hope you enjoy!
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Read this, please.
1 min read
I would like it if you would look at the scrap I just submitted. It's a song in progress. To know what it's about, read the description of it. I would like help on it and just wanted to bring it to everyone's attention. (Everyone who reads this, anyway. x3) So, thank you if you do look at it, and if you don't that's fine, too. 
-Tsuta-chan
-Tsuta-chan
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Kind of annoyed. (Rant-ish)
8 min read
Well, first journal entry in a while. This isn't made from my laptop, which saddens me. I'm at a reunion at my mom's college. They have a cyber cafe, so that's where I'm typing this from. But this laptop is HORRIBLE.... There MUST be something off about its keyboard, 'cactause I'm having some difficulty typing this. But I at least know no one's going to look over my shoulder. Nobody could care less what others are doing here, much less a teenager.
So, back to business (sort of). My mom wants me to go to camp. I DEFINATELY don't want to, ESPECIALLY the one she has her heart set on me going to. It's in the mountains in Tenessee(sp?).... I've been there before, and I KNOW that yes, I had a good time, but still. It's hot, the food is good but not filling, and the days go by WAY TOO SLOWLY. Seriously, time goes by faster when I'm bored than at that camp.
It's a "radical movement" camp. Translation: the power of the Holy Spirit enthusiasts, focused on supernatural healing and all that other stuff Christianity (for the most part sort of) thinks has only happened in the actual time of Christ. (Yes, I'm a Christian. Deal with it or leave.) But don't get me wrong, I think it's great and all, but their music is too loud.... That's part of why I had a sensory overload and ended up breaking down the last time I was there.
And again, don't get me wrong. (This part should be earlier on, but oh well.) I totally think "supernatural" healing can and does happen. I've seen it. But the problem this camp does it all is TOO radical, in a way that overshadows actual CHURCH. I mean just sitting there in nature and possibly hearing God's voice in the wind instead of having it all mucked up with strobe lights and speakers (or amplifiers) and whatnot. Honestly, when I was there it felt great. But after a while it fades. FEELING God, as these radiclal people are striving to do, is just not the same as KNOWING God.
Wow. I sound like a preacher but, it's true. Um.... (trying to think of an analogy) ...... ..........
OKAY. Think of someone you know, before you knew them and wished you did. You could cross paths with them in the hallway, say hi, occasionally actually bump into them and say sorry, and depending on who you think the person is, you might feel ecstatic that they even LOOKED at you. But once you got to KNOW them, and hold deeper conversations, learn their hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes, THAT'S when the bonding happens and you no longer feel that high of just making brief contact, because you KNOW that the person is just a phone call away, or maybe even a brief walk and you'd be at their house.
But these people are stuck in the euphoria of contact. (ANALOGY ALERT) It's like when people "talk to/make contact with a ghost" (not gonna explain that), and then suddenly feel the need to post on supernatural blogs about their experience. And others stand in awe, wishing to be like them.
....The ghost thing was more an analogy of how these radicals seem to more worship the speakers (as in the guests that come in to talk) than God. It's all about getting to see that one that "gold dust and holy oils flow off of him" (not kidding, that's almost a direct quote form my aunt). What makes those people any more special than the rest of us? I know I sound bitter or even jealous, and I don't know exactly which one is actually it, but I'm pretty sure it's one or the other, or maybe even both. These people get SO much attention for throwing around some passionate words that I've heard before in a normal church service, and people are amazed that he seems to "sparkle with gold dust."
But the thing is, even though I don't want to go to any camp, PERIOD, I am SURE my mom is going to make me go to the one in Tenessee(sp?). Why? Because she told me she was going to. "Well, I'm the parent and you're the child and you need to socialize!" That's along the lines of what she said. "You'll be getting your tonsils out maybe a week after!" Ugh. Like going to a bloody CAMP with HOARDES of people is going to help me keep strength after I get my tonsils and annoids(sp? they're the things behind your nose or something) out. The doctor had a bloody cartoon book about it and it DOESN'T look that fun-- the aftermath, I mean. Possible bleeding from where the tonsils were, defiantely pain, how much is up to whether I take the pain meds at the proper intervals. My mom says I'll just be sitting around, but I do that anyway so there won't be much change. Being in a crowded camp in an environment I haven't been in for a year is going to drain me.
Even after I pulled a psychology card on her (METAPHOR ATTACK!) and said she was only rationalizing when she was saying that "I'm the child and she's the parent," even though she was shaken a bit, I KNOW she's going to send me. My sister sort of gets it; she always understands to some degree, but what she doesn't know is that "not wanting to go to camp" isn't just one of/a part of my phases. (Yes, I have emotional rollercoaster rides way too often and am pretty sure I'm manic depressive.) And, before you ask how I know my sis thinks it's a phase, I overheard her talking with our mom about it one night. RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR. My sis blatantly said, "Look, she goes through these phases all the time!" I know she was standing up for me, and the other things she said did make me smile because she knew how I would react, It was still sad she didn't know it wasn't going to go away.
But that doesn't matter. My sister is still on my side about it, that if I don't want to go I shouldn't. our mom has signed her up for things without permission before, she gets what's going on and why I get mad when my mom brings it up again.
Aurgh, but I'm also scared. Scared of going back to the camp. If you've read this far I congradulate you; and if you remember correctly, earlier I metioned that I had a sensory overload and broke down. I'm scared that will happen again. The most horrible part was, we were taking a break from the camp to go visit family that lives in a town near the camp. WE WERE GOING TO VISIT FAMILY, and I just started yelling at everybody to be quiet, crying, shutting my eyes tight, clamping my hands over my ears. At first I was just asking them to be quiet, but they woldn't listen and I just started yelling. Then my smart-ass cousin (yes, I used the word ass. Technically it means donkey so get over it) decided to pull out a phrase he'd said to me before: "If you're yelling you just make more noise!" That just got me so much more irritated and frustrated and... just... overloaded. I couldn't look out the window because the colors were too bright and blurred together. I don't know what I was thinking, but I felt so scared and didn't know what I was doing, to be honest. I hardly EVER freak out to THAT degree nowadays. I'm sure that was my tear-duct emptying for the year; I only seem to cry in bulk once a year. Ither times a few tears escape my eyes every night.
But seriously, It's just so horrible. I mean that she's pushing this camp thing on me. I don't think I can tell her that I'm scared the sensory overload will happen again. She'll just try to get me to "talk about it." (she's a counselor, or "shrink," as some people call it, but not the laying on the extended chair thingy kind.) I do NOT want to talk about it with her!
...Anyway, I feel like I need to say something more, but I don't know what. Horrid feeling, neh? Maybe I scream at myself in my dreams for not being able to figure out what I want to say.
That probably won't happen, but sometimes I wish it would. I don't know why.
....Wow. I'm not that scared of the rain right now.
...I'll explain that later if anyone wants to know.
~Tsuta-chan
So, back to business (sort of). My mom wants me to go to camp. I DEFINATELY don't want to, ESPECIALLY the one she has her heart set on me going to. It's in the mountains in Tenessee(sp?).... I've been there before, and I KNOW that yes, I had a good time, but still. It's hot, the food is good but not filling, and the days go by WAY TOO SLOWLY. Seriously, time goes by faster when I'm bored than at that camp.
It's a "radical movement" camp. Translation: the power of the Holy Spirit enthusiasts, focused on supernatural healing and all that other stuff Christianity (for the most part sort of) thinks has only happened in the actual time of Christ. (Yes, I'm a Christian. Deal with it or leave.) But don't get me wrong, I think it's great and all, but their music is too loud.... That's part of why I had a sensory overload and ended up breaking down the last time I was there.
And again, don't get me wrong. (This part should be earlier on, but oh well.) I totally think "supernatural" healing can and does happen. I've seen it. But the problem this camp does it all is TOO radical, in a way that overshadows actual CHURCH. I mean just sitting there in nature and possibly hearing God's voice in the wind instead of having it all mucked up with strobe lights and speakers (or amplifiers) and whatnot. Honestly, when I was there it felt great. But after a while it fades. FEELING God, as these radiclal people are striving to do, is just not the same as KNOWING God.
Wow. I sound like a preacher but, it's true. Um.... (trying to think of an analogy) ...... ..........
OKAY. Think of someone you know, before you knew them and wished you did. You could cross paths with them in the hallway, say hi, occasionally actually bump into them and say sorry, and depending on who you think the person is, you might feel ecstatic that they even LOOKED at you. But once you got to KNOW them, and hold deeper conversations, learn their hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes, THAT'S when the bonding happens and you no longer feel that high of just making brief contact, because you KNOW that the person is just a phone call away, or maybe even a brief walk and you'd be at their house.
But these people are stuck in the euphoria of contact. (ANALOGY ALERT) It's like when people "talk to/make contact with a ghost" (not gonna explain that), and then suddenly feel the need to post on supernatural blogs about their experience. And others stand in awe, wishing to be like them.
....The ghost thing was more an analogy of how these radicals seem to more worship the speakers (as in the guests that come in to talk) than God. It's all about getting to see that one that "gold dust and holy oils flow off of him" (not kidding, that's almost a direct quote form my aunt). What makes those people any more special than the rest of us? I know I sound bitter or even jealous, and I don't know exactly which one is actually it, but I'm pretty sure it's one or the other, or maybe even both. These people get SO much attention for throwing around some passionate words that I've heard before in a normal church service, and people are amazed that he seems to "sparkle with gold dust."
But the thing is, even though I don't want to go to any camp, PERIOD, I am SURE my mom is going to make me go to the one in Tenessee(sp?). Why? Because she told me she was going to. "Well, I'm the parent and you're the child and you need to socialize!" That's along the lines of what she said. "You'll be getting your tonsils out maybe a week after!" Ugh. Like going to a bloody CAMP with HOARDES of people is going to help me keep strength after I get my tonsils and annoids(sp? they're the things behind your nose or something) out. The doctor had a bloody cartoon book about it and it DOESN'T look that fun-- the aftermath, I mean. Possible bleeding from where the tonsils were, defiantely pain, how much is up to whether I take the pain meds at the proper intervals. My mom says I'll just be sitting around, but I do that anyway so there won't be much change. Being in a crowded camp in an environment I haven't been in for a year is going to drain me.
Even after I pulled a psychology card on her (METAPHOR ATTACK!) and said she was only rationalizing when she was saying that "I'm the child and she's the parent," even though she was shaken a bit, I KNOW she's going to send me. My sister sort of gets it; she always understands to some degree, but what she doesn't know is that "not wanting to go to camp" isn't just one of/a part of my phases. (Yes, I have emotional rollercoaster rides way too often and am pretty sure I'm manic depressive.) And, before you ask how I know my sis thinks it's a phase, I overheard her talking with our mom about it one night. RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR. My sis blatantly said, "Look, she goes through these phases all the time!" I know she was standing up for me, and the other things she said did make me smile because she knew how I would react, It was still sad she didn't know it wasn't going to go away.
But that doesn't matter. My sister is still on my side about it, that if I don't want to go I shouldn't. our mom has signed her up for things without permission before, she gets what's going on and why I get mad when my mom brings it up again.
Aurgh, but I'm also scared. Scared of going back to the camp. If you've read this far I congradulate you; and if you remember correctly, earlier I metioned that I had a sensory overload and broke down. I'm scared that will happen again. The most horrible part was, we were taking a break from the camp to go visit family that lives in a town near the camp. WE WERE GOING TO VISIT FAMILY, and I just started yelling at everybody to be quiet, crying, shutting my eyes tight, clamping my hands over my ears. At first I was just asking them to be quiet, but they woldn't listen and I just started yelling. Then my smart-ass cousin (yes, I used the word ass. Technically it means donkey so get over it) decided to pull out a phrase he'd said to me before: "If you're yelling you just make more noise!" That just got me so much more irritated and frustrated and... just... overloaded. I couldn't look out the window because the colors were too bright and blurred together. I don't know what I was thinking, but I felt so scared and didn't know what I was doing, to be honest. I hardly EVER freak out to THAT degree nowadays. I'm sure that was my tear-duct emptying for the year; I only seem to cry in bulk once a year. Ither times a few tears escape my eyes every night.
But seriously, It's just so horrible. I mean that she's pushing this camp thing on me. I don't think I can tell her that I'm scared the sensory overload will happen again. She'll just try to get me to "talk about it." (she's a counselor, or "shrink," as some people call it, but not the laying on the extended chair thingy kind.) I do NOT want to talk about it with her!
...Anyway, I feel like I need to say something more, but I don't know what. Horrid feeling, neh? Maybe I scream at myself in my dreams for not being able to figure out what I want to say.
That probably won't happen, but sometimes I wish it would. I don't know why.....Wow. I'm not that scared of the rain right now.
...I'll explain that later if anyone wants to know.
~Tsuta-chan
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Feelin'... Froggy.
2 min read
Well, today, ladies and gentlemen (or people, I don't know how polite everyone is here o.o), is a special day (or a semi-special day, or not even a special day at all, considering several people on the planet are born every day). Today, some amount of years ago (I refuse to relase just how many), I was born. That's right, I am one year older. A few days ago, I found myself grieving over my lost childhood, even though it's technically not over yet. Yeah. I'm just that strange. But hey, it's not a crime, is it? But if it is, just arrest me now. >.>
So anyway, in other news, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be playing Rook later tonight with my family.
I'm good at that game. And if you don't know what Rook is, be sure to look it up, but don't come back here saying it's a bird and not a card game, because if you do, then you definately didn't research it enough. >w>
ANYWAY, I should probably go. I need to get as much computer time as I can befure then. xD
With love,
~TsutaChishio
So anyway, in other news, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be playing Rook later tonight with my family.
I'm good at that game. And if you don't know what Rook is, be sure to look it up, but don't come back here saying it's a bird and not a card game, because if you do, then you definately didn't research it enough. >w>ANYWAY, I should probably go. I need to get as much computer time as I can befure then. xD
With love,
~TsutaChishio
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